Vector Accelerator (00:01)
Hey, Joe, welcome back to another episode of the Vector Accelerator podcast. You left this fantastic post across multiple social channels. I'm sure there's a couple that I don't follow you on yet. Signal, you're probably on Truth Social. But it was, and I'm going to paraphrase this poorly, but you said something about your past informing who you are. I just, I just love to start off because in the spirit of
Joe Lara (00:17)
We don't talk about signal.
Vector Accelerator (00:31)
Thanksgiving, the spirit of the holidays. ⁓ One of the gifts we want to give you all the listeners is the gift of clarity. And this is, I believe, a critical piece. So I'd love to dive in and hear what you what you were thinking. What was behind that post?
Joe Lara (00:45)
Yeah. So the quote is let your past be your teacher, not your identity. And we've talked about this so much how people in general, not just veterans, we sort of look at our careers. We look at ⁓ labels to give us our purpose and meaning. And what's fascinating in the work that you and I do,
with veterans and as you work with students and young people, even with the young high school-ish type mind, you go back years and you look at your past, the things that make you ⁓ feel connected to the world, the things that bring you joy, that's some of your best finest moments. Those are actually teaching moments and those moments shape us.
I think that's the thing that we take for granted. We're always looking forward at what's next. When we go through exercises of self-reflection, we realize, man, I wouldn't be here if I didn't do all those screw-ups, if I didn't do all those awesome things, all those moments. If they didn't happen, I wouldn't be where I am today. And ⁓ that's kind of where that... I mean, I'm kind of rambling, but that's the gist of it. Yeah. Yeah.
Vector Accelerator (02:08)
No, yeah. What did you, so you
said not your identity. I assume you're talking about the role you've played, resume stuff, job stuff. You're talking about a kid like, hey, you might've been on the soccer team. You might've been a part of ASB. So what? Is that what you mean?
Joe Lara (02:22)
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, that's some of the external stuff, but even the internal stuff, right? Because there's also these internal, the internal monologue of, man, I should have done this when I was a kid or I didn't get, I wasn't raised in a great home, you know, and therefore I'm not a great person. Like we kind of have these labels and we wear them as, as labels, as, as, as identity. And it's not fair. ⁓
Vector Accelerator (02:44)
Mm-hmm.
Joe Lara (02:49)
But if we look back at those moments, it does shape us. It does shape us and help us be more resilient. I think back, you know, one of the exercises that we take people through is self-reflection, thinking back of how the family upbringing I had. I wanted certain things that I just didn't get from my parents. What did it teach me? Well, it taught me how to be a better parent for my kids today. So the past didn't, it's not my identity. It's just a teacher.
Vector Accelerator (03:03)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Right. Right.
Joe Lara (03:17)
And so that's just one example of how we can continue moving forward in a positive way and a healthy way. Yeah.
Vector Accelerator (03:23)
Yeah.
And you're talking about doing that self reflection in a way that is productive, helpful, because I think ⁓ what happens to me when I'm in a, ⁓ I'll call it a crisis moment, which is usually what I call transition crisis, a problem to solve ⁓ is all the noise comes up, the noise of insecurity, the noise of fear, the noise of anxiety, which is just so normal. Every single person has it.
But what turns off typically is the real reflective side, the thinking side, even the memories. I can't even access the memories. I've put on the spot before in interview style conversations where someone's like, tell me about a time when and I'm like, duh, I just can't think of anything. So what have you found that's helpful to even tap into some of that stuff in the past?
Joe Lara (04:11)
it's interesting because we've been doing a lot of this work with many veterans recently and it's simple little prompts. if you don't know where to begin, just think of like your earliest fond memory, right? It doesn't have to be where those guys parted and you got this amazing lesson of how to live life to the fullest. It's just something that was meaningful a moment.
Vector Accelerator (04:28)
Yeah.
Joe Lara (04:40)
And then once you figured out what that moment is, then try to figure out how to ask following questions that begin with what. So the perfect question, if you're taking notes, what made that moment memorable for you? And what's interesting is every time I ask that to somebody else, it might be simply like, we took a family vacation and it was by the lake. Okay, well, what made it meaningful? And then, well,
Vector Accelerator (05:03)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Joe Lara (05:08)
there's this follow on piece where I ended up spending time with my sister or whatever or brother more. Okay, well, what about that moment? You know what? We really, it's just the neat golden nuggets and pieces are buried in there. And so think of a moment and then start coming up with what questions, what made it so important, what made it so meaningful? And yeah, you're gonna discover some really cool stuff.
Vector Accelerator (05:13)
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I think very practically most people have phones and if you've got a phone, you've got likely a notes app that you can use. And even today I had a couple memories pop up when I was in the middle of the meeting. I know myself, I know if I don't write them down, they will disappear. Even as committed as I am, I'm gonna remember this, I remember this, it'll be so gone from my mind in five minutes, five seconds even. So I write them down. That's a tip I think as Joe's talking about, when a memory comes up,
fond memory, a memory of a great moment, ⁓ a key moment, a peak moment, whatever, however phrase you want to use, write it down. And then the real good stuff obviously comes as you start to mine for meaning in the midst of that. because it's December, I think there's 12 days of Christmas. I think there's even 25 days of Christmas. I don't know. your latest. Check the Toyota commercial for what exactly it is. Yeah, there's a song. Why don't you join us in this?
Joe Lara (06:24)
⁓ There's a song that goes with it.
Vector Accelerator (06:32)
season, whatever holiday you celebrate, you can't escape that it's Christmas time. And ⁓ give yourself the gift of clarity. Start with memories. Start with writing them down. And join us as you listen into these other episodes. You dig into the blog on the Vector Accelerator website. As you even want to maybe take this curriculum, go through this program yourself because it's free. The only cost is your time and willingness to dig in. It's a pretty good deal, though. the back end, you get clarity for life, which is not bad.
Joe Lara (07:01)
Mmm.
Vector Accelerator (07:01)
if you ask
me, ⁓ money back guarantee. If you don't get clarity, we will give you all of your money back. We'll triple your money back. Okay. If you don't get clarity, but fortunately this stuff isn't just free. It is effective and don't trust us get to the work yourself. So Joe, Merry Christmas, dude. Let's, let's do this proper. Let's dig in and give each other the gift of clarity.
Joe Lara (07:20)
Yeah.
Vector Accelerator (07:26)
we did.
