The Mentors Who Shaped Us

Episode Overview

In this episode, Scott Schimmel and Joe Lara explore a powerful question for veterans in transition: Who are the people who shaped you during your military career?

The conversation begins with Joe reflecting on a recent Azimuth Chat with hundreds of transitioning veterans, many of whom are feeling the pull between their military responsibilities, family expectations, and uncertainty about what comes next. During the session, Joe asked participants to name one military person who helped them most in their career. The result was a moving “Hall of Heroes” moment—a list of names representing mentors, leaders, peers, and advocates who left a lasting impact.

Scott then shares a deeply personal story about writing a goodbye letter to a mentor in hospice, reflecting on the ways this person shaped how he leads, parents, communicates, and develops others. Together, Scott and Joe unpack why looking back with gratitude can help veterans move forward with hope, clarity, and purpose.

The episode closes with an important reminder: mentors and transformational leaders can be rare outside the military, so veterans should pay attention when they find people who challenge them, believe in them, and call more out of them.

Key Takeaways

1. Transition is not just logistical—it is emotional and relational.

Many veterans are leaving after years, sometimes decades, of service. They are managing work demands, family questions, uncertainty about the future, and the emotional weight of leaving a military identity behind. Joe describes it as a “tug-of-war” between being pulled back into military responsibilities and pulled forward into family and civilian life.

2. Looking back can help veterans move forward.

Joe makes the point that the future has not happened yet—it is still an idea. But the past contains patterns, people, lessons, and evidence of what has shaped us. By looking back, veterans can identify what helped them grow and what they may want to replicate in their next chapter.

3. Gratitude can create hope.

When Joe asked veterans to name the military person who helped them most, the exercise was not just nostalgic. It was designed to help them feel gratitude, optimism, and hope for the future. Remembering the people who made a positive impact can remind veterans that they have been shaped, supported, and strengthened along the way.

4. Mentors give us fixed points for our identity.

Scott reflects on how his mentor’s qualities became part of him—not because the mentor forced him to become someone else, but because the mentor called out something that was already there. That kind of influence can give veterans a clearer sense of who they are and what value they bring into the next phase of life.

5. The impact you received may become the impact you are called to give.

Joe highlights an important reframing: sometimes the thing you needed most but did not receive is the very thing you are called to provide for others. For veterans who did not have a mentor, that absence can become a source of purpose rather than bitterness.

6. Great mentors both nurture and challenge.

Scott’s mentor showed deep interest in him, asked for his perspective, invited him into his life, and affirmed him publicly. But he also challenged Scott directly, telling him when he needed to speak up and contribute more. That combination of care and high standards is part of what makes mentorship transformational.

7. As veterans transition, finding people who develop others matters.

Scott closes with a practical warning: people who truly know how to develop others are rare in civilian workplaces. Veterans should pay close attention when they find someone who guides, challenges, and believes in them. A role connected to that kind of leader may be worth considering, even if the job is not perfect on paper.

Best Quotes

“To move forward, you have to sometimes look back.” — Joe Lara

“When you look back, there’s patterns. And there’s ways that you’ve connected dots along your life.” — Joe Lara

“Who’s the one military person who helped you the most in your career?” — Joe Lara

“I had this really cool sense of like this is like that Hall of Heroes… Who are these heroes? Who are these people that did this amazing thing?” — Joe Lara

“These are lives.” — Scott Schimmel

“Because of you, this is how I lead. Because of you, this is how I treat my son. Because of you, this is how I communicate.” — Scott Schimmel

“So much of him is in me.” — Scott Schimmel

“I’m in this lineage of impact, and I want to pay that forward.” — Scott Schimmel

“There’s something there about helping people have fixed points to their identity, to the value that they bring, by thinking about these people that have shaped them.” — Scott Schimmel

“Those things that were done for you, you needed. And could you be that for somebody else?” — Joe Lara

“Sometimes the thing that you needed the most that you didn’t get is what you’ve got to do moving forward for others.” — Joe Lara

“You are in the crucible at all times. And if you don’t feel like you are in it now, it’s right ahead of you.” — Joe Lara

“Regardless, you’re being shaped and formed in the crucible.” — Joe Lara

“What wisdom are you going to pull from that experience forward in a positive way?” — Joe Lara

“If you find someone like that, my encouragement would be number one, draw near to them.” — Scott Schimmel