Why Desire Should Come Before Your Resume: A New Model for Veteran Transition

When Mike finished his final tour and stepped into civilian life, he did what most veterans are told to do.
He polished his resume, fired up LinkedIn, and started applying to jobs that “made sense” based on his MOS. Three months in, he was employed — and miserable. The job paid the bills, but it felt hollow. Something wasn’t clicking.

Turns out, Mike had skipped a step that nearly every traditional transition program overlooks: desire.

“I use that word intentionally,” said Tracey Gee, leadership coach and author of The Magic of Knowing What You Want. “Desire cuts a little closer. It forces us to be a little bit more honest about who we really are.”

The Problem with a Resume-First Mindset

Veteran transition programs typically focus on external tools — résumés, LinkedIn profiles, interview prep. While important, they assume the veteran already knows what they want and who they are.

In reality, many service members leave the military with a fractured sense of identity. After years of being defined by service, rank, and mission, the sudden blank slate of civilian life can feel destabilizing.

This creates a dangerous shortcut: veterans chase “logical” roles without first asking:
What do I want? What brings me alive? What’s meaningful to me now?

“We can jump too quickly past those things,” Gee explains. “There’s still a really valuable thing that happens to unlock your creativity and your resilience for this part of the process if you can tap into those questions first.”

A Better Framework: Start with Desire, Not Direction

Gee suggests flipping the process. Instead of beginning with logistics — job title, location, salary — begin with your internal compass.

She encourages veterans to break their questions into two categories:

• Primary Questions: What makes you come alive? What do you want? What would feel meaningful?

• Secondary Questions: What will pay the bills? Am I qualified? Who’s hiring?

“It’s harder to go all in on the purely just, ‘Okay, all I’m going to do is the paycheck,’” she says. “That can work. But it’s harder to weave in that sense of authenticity, aliveness, and joy — and that’s what creates sustainability.”

By starting with desire, veterans create a foundation of clarity, which leads to more aligned — and fulfilling — career decisions.

3 Actions Veterans Can Take Right Now

If you’re navigating your own transition, here are three steps to implement Gee’s framework:

1. Create a "Question Parking Lot"

Grab a notebook or digital doc. Write down every single question swirling in your mind — from “How will I afford rent?” to “Do I want to stay in this city?”

This brain dump doesn’t need to be organized. The point is to reduce mental noise.

“Once you can articulate something,” Gee explains, “it moves into a different part of your brain that has much more to do with decision-making and clarity.”

2. Circle Your Primary Questions

From your list, highlight the ones that relate to your internal desires: what excites you, fulfills you, or feels meaningful. These are your compass.

Don’t try to answer everything now. Just give those questions permission to live in the spotlight.

3. Reach Out for Conversations, Not Just Jobs

Use your clarity to spark exploratory conversations — “cups of coffee” as Vector calls them. Find people doing work that aligns with your interests and ask them about their path.

This is low-pressure but high-yield work that helps you discover where your desires intersect with real-world opportunities.

Final Thought: Service Doesn’t End with the Uniform

You’re not selfish for wanting more than a paycheck. You’re human.

“Your aliveness is actually one of the best gifts you can give to the people and communities you care about,” says Gee. “Ask what makes you come alive — and go do that.”

So before you hit “Apply” again, pause. Ask better questions. Reconnect with what you want. Your next mission deserves nothing less.